How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
