you traded sex for a burrito?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You pole danced in your parka.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
