I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
