There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
