Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
