I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Text me some of your sweat
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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