I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
