he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
