Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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