No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
