I'm gonna have a badass scar
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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