Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
