Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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