susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
