Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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