I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
