so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
