if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
