Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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