are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
