I don't think brook has ever known best
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
