when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
