i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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