I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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