i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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