We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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