Yo dont text me then not text me
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
