I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Randomize
