the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You are a genius and a whore.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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