Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
