Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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