Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
