WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
