He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
