walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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