great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
