You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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