Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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