this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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