Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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