NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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