Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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