Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
