farters have to be the big spoon...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
