I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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