Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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