Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
