This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
