Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
