My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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